two eyes, two ears.

the art of being a scientist woman.

Sun, 03 Jun 2012 02:33:00 +0100

disclaimer: before you continue on reading, be aware that you might label this post as ”galau”, “cheesy”, or whatever it is you might personally consider when you read such a honest, rather too-emotionally writing and nothing of importance at all.
…
but hey, this is my personal blog and so I should just continue with it regardless of what you might think of me! :p

haha. so, in this rather cold night, when all my assignments are done and dissertation is the only one left for my pre-qualification before I can officially, proudly state myself an acoustician (do say “YAY” for that!), rather than going out for a (non-alcoholic) drink or having a late movie marathon in cinemas.. here I am, literally wrapping myself with blanket (rather than turning on the heater—laziness issue) with a cup of hot tea (without milk.. because there isn’t even a drop of milk left in my fridge due to freaking assignment days!), contemplating about things I should not even care about…. yet. but i did it anyway and here’s what i contemplate:

i am, and will always aim to be, a scientist.

…

umm. ok. i’m a scientist. and so what? HAHA. right. what else should i contemplate, or complain, knowing myself a scientist? many people out there suffering from lack of education, but look at me now. a Master of Science degree almost in hand, with burning passion to (hopefully) continue yet another 3 freaking years doing a PhD (now do pray for that instead of saying “yay”! :p). and yes, i am one of just a few luckiest people on Earth, so what is it am i contemplating for?

i am contemplating for a friend. a man. a friend for a lifetime. a partner. a leader. a future husband. HAHA NO I’M NOT GOING TO ADVERTISE MYSELF AS A SINGLE-AND-AVAILABLE-SCIENTIST WOMAN or such, there’s no way i’m going to do that in public webpage! xD but instead i’ve been contemplating about myself as a woman, my life as i see it. i am thinking about how i would integrate my life as a wife and a scientist at the same time.

i naturally love books more than i love fashion. i am passionate on doing research readings more than i am aware of current trend style. i am good at physics and math instead of sewing or mending clothes. i choose to watch documentary or news rather than entertainment channel. and, on the top of it all, i have more of a (perhaps) beautiful mind (or “brain”, to be exact) rather than a beautiful outer look.

.. and no, do not teach me about how every woman is beautiful in their own way. and do not teach me how people are not always going to judge you only by your outer looks. i already know all about that, and i know that those are true.

but what concerns me most is that.. that by being a scientist, i am actually complicating myself more than i should be. if being a woman alone is already being the most complicated creature, what about being a scientist woman? not only would I have a severe emotional PMS syndrome, but my logical brain will also work accordingly. for example, i would even plan for world destruction if i want to…. right? wrong. of course i won’t do that. come on. well, i know that by being a scientist woman, all the people would think of me as a nerd. as a person who thinks of things that are not yet exist. as a person who lacks of human emotion. as a person who cares for nothing but her own experimental rats (or cats—referring to Schrodinger’s). as a person who is hard-headed. as a person who lives on her own thoughts and mind.

and so, as well as for my future husband towards myself, i would find the role of ‘wife’ as more challenging than my role as a scientist. that by being someone else’s partner, i have to drown myself adjusting to the needs of my partner. i have to spare some space in my brain thinking about my husband, my family, my children’s future, on and on and on, while i am having my own visions and dreams i am longing to reach for at the same time.

see? i am complicating myself more than i should be, am i not? well, to make it clear, it’s not that i don’t have feelings at all. it’s not that i’m love-less. i have feelings towards the opposite sex too, perhaps even stronger in some cases. i long to be with, and to live with the person i love as well. my heart races whenever a text message appears or whenever i see his photos come up in facebook, i do stalk him to know who his close friends are (and to guess who the enemies—i mean “the special ones” might be—HAHA don’t call me cheesy i know you’re all doing this as well, ladies!), and i also do want to “own” him in a way that he will only consider being with me and not anyone else.

but for me, having a relationship is not just all about love. it is not just about fulfilling my basic human needs. for me it is more about thinking and planning about the kind of future the relationship may bring. having a strong logical order of thinking and having a strong will of continuing being a scientist, i just can’t wash away my need to think. while some people might find it weird knowing that people can actually “think” when it comes to feelings, i find it really important, fascinating, and on the contrary, i find this “thinking” process as my immunity against “feeling domination”.

because, as a scientist, i value my logics more than anything… sometimes even more than feelings.

and so i guess, when it comes to feelings, love, man, or a relationship.. i would just face him directly to the bare facts that i am a woman scientist, who has just an average outer look with lack of fashion sense in me, a nerd with books and a passion for science instead of facing him with shown, hot, publicly romance. but on the other hand, i would also show him the beauty of my inner look (if there is any, though :p), the unseen and inexplorable beauty of the depths of my knowledge, my extraordinary views of the world as i see and as i explore it, and also the purest love feelings, all wrapped in an iron-coated heart of a scientist.

…

would you, dear my future husband, whoever you might be, be brave and sincere enough to open such an iron-coated heart and to really see what is inside, when you can just go away and find other warmer, glowing hearts that are also long to mate with your gracious mind?

***

ha. HA HA. and so.. that’s it. the ~~contemplation~~ blabber. so that’s why, in this middle of the night where i am supposed to have my free-from-assignments freedom celebration, i am here in my room instead, still with my stupid blanket and an empty cup of tea typing for perhaps such a nonsense at all. but anyway, no matter what is on my mind right now, i am still currently relieved to be finally FREE of any assignments! YAAY!

oh, and i’m also currently arranging a super cute song for yet another angklung performance next week. it’s been a while since the last time i’m arranging a song, and since i am used to arrange such a serious, curly-noted score-based songs, this one particular happy and funny song can’t stop making me giggle.

good night and have a happy weekend!

Manchester,
Sunday, June 3 2012, 02.25 AM BST (and it’s Subuh prayer time here already. stupid Summer!),
in the very day of Queen Elizabeth II’s Diamond Jubilee (which i will miss out the parade since i am not living in London and am too lazy (and money-less) to arrange a travel—poor MSc student indeed),
FR.

these rather cute-shaped error graphs of DSP’s adaptive...

Thu, 31 May 2012 01:30:00 +0100

these rather cute-shaped error graphs of DSP’s adaptive filtering coding took me nearly 3 days long to finish from scratch. day and night, literally.

much much love for you, digital signal processing.

Manchester, May 31 2012, 01.35 AM BST.
sincerely yours,
your caffeine-blooded (soon-to-be) acoustician,
FR.

International 16 Salford

Thu, 24 May 2012 18:07:00 +0100

Meaning of Life:
“For me personally, life is all about dynamic things. We will encounter different problems, different challenges, different friends, different people, all the differences regardless space and time. So therefore, to live our life is to deal with everything in life as well as adjusting ourselves with all the differences it provide.”

if not because of this gorgeous Australian woman, i would never experience one of the most wonderful lesson in life: experiencing the beauty of diversity.

haha. no, I don’t mean to write a dramatic fiction or such. what I’m telling you now is real. it’s just as real as it honestly is.

it was when i was just in my first days at Salford Uni. first days of living abroad by myself. first days yet the very first time to really living alone, actually. and in between millions of forms i had to fill in those days (from immigration issue to health problems), a lady came to me and asked me to write “The Meaning of Life” in International Society Salford office right when I applied to be one of the member. what a really unusual way of getting to know a person! and so I was given a blank sheet of paper.

for God’s sake, i was really tired, exhausted, all I wanted to do was to just fill the form, do the quick, informal interview then go straight home and recovering my jetlag.

but instead a stranger asked me the meaning of life. phew. okay. so I’ve been living for 22 years, and I have to sum it up in just a blank sheet of paper. my life journey so far won’t even fit a novel book, really!

then I just simply wrote my own opinion of life, quite unwillingly, without even had the slightest idea of how that single paragraph of writing could actually make my life even more meaningful that it would ever be.

sometimes, God’s message just comes to us right at the most unexpected time in life.

***

while everyone else in certain parts of the world are fighting, stating zero-tolerance, and busy buzzing intolerable diversity issues, we are all united because of the diversity we bring. and when I say “diversity”, I did really mean diversity:

1970. 1980. 1987. 1991. 1990. 1992. 1987. 1985. 1991. 1989. 1988. 1991. 1986. 1989. 1987. 1989. 1992.

Czech Republic. England. Tanzania. Thailand. Zambia. India. Romania. England. Australia. Romania. Germany. US. Malaysia. Indonesia. India. Germany.

a cheerful businesswoman. a tough businessman and music lover. two keen politicians. two wonderful environmentalists. a passionate acoustician. a lovely biochemist. a talented interpreter. a procurement expert who knows almost everything in life. a project manager and football fanatic. a beautiful biomedical scientist. two professional film-makers. a cheerful, nice, chatty accountant. a fatherly internationalist. a blessed novel-writer.

we are not here merely for spending holidays together or showing the world of what we’re capable of by throwing worldly seminars or discussions. we are not part of an organisation promoting peace, violence, politics, or anything in between. we don’t need the whole world to recognise us from our extraordinary abilities or intentions to make a better humanity through big, inspiring events or such. instead we just simply have a weekly gathering, sharing our cultures, hobbies, interests… and life.

instead we share our deepest, honest thoughts, we share our problems, we share everything we’ve experienced, freely, cheerfully, sincerely, without anyone judging. without any prejudices. we are simply here to listen to each of us sharing our own views and lives—and in turn, a really strong emotional bond, pure friendship, and inspiration come filling each of our souls.. those that bring us to the more advanced stage in life.

***

and in the end, what I wrote that day nearly 9 months ago, in between other 50000 forms, did happen. you guys are always going to have a place inside my heart. :)

“… So therefore, to live our life is to deal with everything in life as well as adjusting ourselves with all the differences it provide.”

Manchester, 24 May 2012, 18.00 BST.
sitting cozily in my dorm room, enjoying the heat of a really warm Spring with blossoming flowers and chirping birds outside (pretending not to see a huge piles of assignment sheets still at my desk),
FR. :]

a wonderful email i received this morning. what a mood booster...

Wed, 23 May 2012 11:25:19 +0100

a wonderful email i received this morning. what a mood booster to start my assignment working days.

and no, Andrew, it’s not you. it is me learning a lot from you. :)

I’ll love you ‘til the end of time.

Wed, 23 May 2012 00:12:49 +0100

I’ll love you ‘til the end of time.

I do have to get mad sometimes. sabar tuh ada batasnya woy. situ kira saya ngelakuin ini buat siapa,...

Mon, 21 May 2012 17:00:44 +0100

I do have to get mad sometimes. sabar tuh ada batasnya woy. situ kira saya ngelakuin ini buat siapa, hah? buat saya? enggak kan? apa urusannya dan apa untungnya buat saya sih? like the hell I care. saat kamu ngasih saya tanggungjawab atas hal yang sepenuhnya urusan kamu, dan saat kamu malah misuh2 sama saya saat saya dengan sebaik2nya melaksanakan tanggungjawab yang kamu kasih? then why bother gave it to me at the very first place? why don’t you just do it yourself?

well, aku emang tahan2 aja dan udah sering mengalami kaya gini sih. but don’t mess with me in the middle of my own deadlines and rush, please. you may keep on complaining about your life, though, but what about mine? I have life too.. which I value more than you ever do to yours.

if you don’t love yourself then don’t push others to love you the way you want us to. cengeng woy dasar. manja. you’ve no idea about life outside your own.

and don’t just end it all with a “sorry” if you don’t really mean it.

when I can no longer forgive your behavior, may God always forgives you.

"Courage is confused with picking up arms and cowardice is confused with laying them down."

Sun, 20 May 2012 22:02:26 +0100

“Courage is confused with picking up arms and cowardice is confused with laying them down.”

- Mitch Albom (via quote-book)

the backstage.

Sat, 19 May 2012 10:50:55 +0100

I, on the other hand, am waiting for you at the backstage.

I am not to be seen. neither am the centre of any attention.

I am not the one who’d get all the applaud, the fame, nor a prominence.

I am not the one people would address their flowers to, nor am the one people would line up their queues for.

and I am not another actress whom you should put all your attention to.

but I, am the one who devotes myself arranging your play.

working on my screen for most hours a day giving the best scripts for you to perform.

directing you for the best acts that would yet to come.

composing scores to fill their hearts with joy—or to even break their hearts into pieces.

squeezing some bits or stretching some scenes for all to fit.

bringing you the best out of yourself.

and so here I am, waiting for you at the backstage. without cheering, without screaming your name, without the most colourful bucket of flowers in hands.

instead, here I am with sweat all over me, with scripts still on one hand, and handy-talkie on another.

will you come to me, or will you just stand there, at the stage, enjoying your name being praised, then disappear into the crowds?

either way I’ll be waiting for you at the backstage.

this.

Fri, 18 May 2012 23:39:34 +0100

this.

brunchner.

Thu, 17 May 2012 19:06:00 +0100

di perpus, ceritanya lagi puasa. seujujurnya udah laper (6.57 PM GMT+1) tapi berbukanya masih nanti jam 9.07 PM. sementara classmate sedang berusaha membujuk aku untuk bermalam di perpus.
elena: do you wanna stay here tonight?
me: no
me: i'm going at 8
elena: just bring your breakfast-lunch-dinner and eat it here
elena: brunchner
haha! ya. istilah "brunch" alias gabungan breakfast-lunch buat bule gak ada apa2nya dibanding seorang muslim yang tengah berpuasa saat musim semi di negeri antah berantah. we got all meals wrapped in one--brunchner!

Gotham city made of QRD with N = 43. my masterpiece of the day...

Tue, 15 May 2012 19:01:00 +0100

Gotham city made of QRD with N = 43. my masterpiece of the day after spending almost 7 hours in the library.

…

never mind. I am (currently) a geek and I speak acoustics.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! no waaaaayyyy this is beyond funny!

Mon, 14 May 2012 16:24:40 +0100

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! no waaaaayyyy this is beyond funny!

another epicness of Kang Ibing’s tale. ROFL. this one...

Mon, 14 May 2012 16:17:57 +0100

another epicness of Kang Ibing’s tale. ROFL. this one definitely made my day!

tonight will be the last International 16 Salford’s weekly...

Wed, 09 May 2012 14:43:46 +0100

tonight will be the last International 16 Salford’s weekly meeting.

… surely there will be no more inspiring Wednesday evenings with all these brilliant, extraordinary minds, but I will forever cherish all the moments we had—for they have made me a better person and filled my heart with warmth and beauty of international diversity.

may God cross our paths again someday. i love you guys with all my sincerest heart. :)

at least I’m having a slice of this Selva cake (or...

Tue, 08 May 2012 21:10:00 +0100

at least I’m having a slice of this Selva cake (or whatever it is the waiter told me) accompanying me doing these depressing, unfinished assignments.

hello, deadlines!

evening mind-walkers.

Mon, 07 May 2012 02:48:01 +0100

instead of going out for a party or just having a drink at the pub, I spent my evenings having serious, thoughtful conversations or, sometimes, getting completely random ideas and execute it right away. (yes, RIGHT away. details posted later!)

while others dress up and having proper make-up for party, i just use my casual pair of jeans, sneakers, and thick jacket with no sign of any make-up powders because I value my skin not to get cold rather than showing off the bare shapes! (that is to say, while the real reason is just that I am simply more of a tropical person! :p)

boring? perhaps. not fashionable? I certainly am not (as we are all know!).

but tell me. how many of you could see through different perspectives of life, cherish the dreams of your loved ones, and having a perfect night walk within city lights at the last hours of your daily weekend life?

… and it’s true that inspiration does come from nearby. thank you, my evening mind-walkers! :]

Manchester, 7th May 2012, 02.49 AM (BST).
supposedly-sleeping-already-but-was-too-drowned-with-a-very-exciting-evening-conversation,
FR.

reversibility philosophy

Wed, 02 May 2012 22:07:00 +0100

somewhere, somebody, this morning. after a lecture about reversibility.
him: this used to be my fundamental thought..
me: (puts on a serious face)
him: i used to think about why should i... live on?
me: (puts on an even more serious face)
him: and somebody asked me why i should live on.
him: of course, that's simply because..
me: (prepares for something highly philosophical)
him: because if i live, i can choose to die
him: but if i die.. i just can't choose to be alive again.
him: so it's not reversible!
me: ..........
another epic-ness of that weird person (which I wouldn't say who or else i'll be kicked out of the safe assignment-marking zone! =p)

soundscape of Piccadilly Gardens, taken this afternoon using...

Tue, 01 May 2012 21:08:00 +0100

soundscape of Piccadilly Gardens, taken this afternoon using in-ear binaural microphone.

the last soundscape recording contribution from me for my friend’s (really interesting) project (which I’ll post a bit later on!). the garden is located exactly at the centre of Manchester, in between the busy streets, shops, and offices.

what you’re hearing now is the sound mixtures of footsteps. wind. trams. buses. chatter. metal clanging. laughter. birds. roadworks. I was there, doing binaural recording silently and still for the whole 10 minutes, and I couldn’t help but to think of those blended busy sounds as reflections of my own chaotic mind.

chaotic, yeah, as right now I am supposed to do my assignments rather than chit-chatting on tumblr! HAHA, okay, so as to let this evening be a bit more productive, I’ll leave you here in the middle of such a busy (and perhaps rather unpleasant) sound. but believe me you’ll love the real Piccadilly Gardens regardless of the sound.

Manchester,
in a seemingly quiet May Day (does british people celebrate 1st of May as labour day as well? nah I won’t bother turning on any news right now),
FR.

lost in tran(ame)slation.

Mon, 30 Apr 2012 16:53:34 +0100

this afternoon, in Newton Building's corridor.
Elena: that guy Eric is awesome. his matlab code is really really awesome.
Jose: you know, that guy used to do filters. he's an Electrical Engineer, that's why.
me: oh, so it is a "he"?
Elena: (laughs)
Elena: of course it is a "he"!
Elena: the name's ERIC!
me: well.. when we have "Leissa" and "Farina" as guys names??
me: how can I not be sure "Eric" is not a 'she'?

don't talk to strangers? think twice!

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 18:07:00 +0100

halo, selamat menikmati jam-jam terakhir sebelum kembali menuju hari Senin! :D haha oke ini aku seharusnya lagi ngekstrak data dari software Comsol untuk tugas boundary element method-nya mata kuliah numerical techniques atau lagi nganalisis room modes dari desain listening room tugasnya room acoustics. but do forget those alien stuffs for now (for I know you have no idea of what those are all about! :p) coz I’m going to tell you a really interesting story, happened to me quite recently (about 2 or 3 days ago I suppose—still I can’t remember dates).

***

sebagai seorang anak bungsu dari tiga bersaudara, cewek satu-satunya, dan sebagai orang lemah gak bisa bela diri yang bertumbuh kembang di salah satu kota besar di Indonesia, sedari kecil aku selalu diingetin untuk berhati-hati dengan orang asing. be it penghipnotis, copet, atau sekedar cowok mesum. tapi sayangnya, sedari kecil juga lah aku udah suka memberontak. hehe. memberontak not as in berdugem atau tidak mengindahkan larangan moral, but memberontak as in being brave to have businesses with all the strangers. brave? haha enggak “brave” juga sih, but rather “nekad” aja. i just can’t find an English word of “nekad” at the moment (do let me know if you know one!)

and so one day, about 3 or 4 weeks ago (or perhaps more…. damn I really can’t remember dates!), aku lagi jalan sambil bawa banyak (ya, BANYAK) plastik belanjaan dari supermarket menuju rumah. (note: aku adalah tipe mahasiswa gembel yang punya prinsip “kalo jarak supermarket-rumah deket, ngapain naek bus? jalan aja kali” untuk menghemat uang! uang penghematannya? dipake traveling dong hehe lumayan dipake membuka wawasan daripada dipake numpuk lemak dengan naik bus!) di tengah jalan, ada orang yang nyapa aku.

“hey! you alright there?” wah. aku emang termasuk pendek dan terlihat mengkhawatirkan untuk jalan sendirian tapi tentu aja aku baik-baik saja meski bawa banyak belanjaan! hehe. lalu aku menjawab, dan kita ngobrol sepanjang perjalanan supermarket menuju rumah aku. asiknya, dia nawarin bantuan megangin sebagian belanjaan aku. hehe. pertamanya aku curiga, wah, jangan2 ini orang mau maling belanjaan aku. tapi berhubung belanjaan aku ini cuma belanjaan raw food yang terbilang murah dan berat, bukan belanjaan elektronik, jadi aku santai aja. aku terus ngobrol dan orang ini tetep ramah sama aku. kemudian aku pun menaruh kecurigaan kedua: wah, jangan2 orang ini cuma pura2 baik dan mau flirting sama aku! haha aku ge er :p but hey I was just being cautious!

lalu momen2 penuh kecurigaan pun mulai sedikit terlewati dan aku mulai menikmati obrolan aku dengan orang ini. the first thing I could tell was that he’s clever. obrolannya bener-bener intelek dan tutur katanya pun sangat sopan. I could tell that he’s not just an ordinary man.

lalu kita ngobrol lumayan banyak. mulai dari curhat tentang negara masing-masing, sampai ngobrol tentang aplikasi dasar-dasar filsafat di kehidupan sehari-hari. now that is interesting. philosophy. delapan bulan aku tinggal di inggris, temen aku ngobrol soal filsafat masih sekitaran Victor dan Bento aja melalui media whatsapp atau skype (for they share my interest in philosophy as well), and suddenly this man came out of nowhere, sharing my interest in philosophy!

akhirnya aku sampai di rumah (yap, dia akhirnya nganterin aku sampe rumah—well, bukan rumah sih, but a 14-storeys student dormitory), dan aku agak kaget saat aku bertanya, “ok now. i’m here. i’m having deadlines soon so i’ll just concentrate on my workings. nice talking to you, anyway. and thank you for your help! you have any more plans to do?”

yang dia jawab dengan santai, “plans? i don’t have any. right now i really am enjoying talking to you.” watsah! kecurigaan nomer 2 aku muncul lagi. but then he explained me about “The Power of Now”, about the preciousness of “present” (as in the “time” present—not the gift). tapi toh pada akhirnya aku pulang juga dan kami berpisah.

saat itu aku sempet menaruh kecurigaan juga sih, aku rada takut juga jangan2 ini orang berusaha mau menipu aku atau berusaha flirting atau berniat jahat sama aku.

but then something occurred to me. hey. we didn’t even exchange anything! not emails, not numbers, not anything, not even names. aku berbincang-bincang selama 20 menit penuh dengan seorang stranger yang membantu membawa setengah belanjaan aku, and all I know was his country origin (itupun karena aku yang bertanya duluan).

and at that time, I felt so ashamed of myself. how could I put so many suspicions, while it was me who asked him first where he’s from, and while he didn’t even ask anything in return? it’s kind of.. unfair, really, how I enjoyed our conversation while putting suspicions at the same time. I just hate myself sometimes!

***

nah. lalu fast forward ke dua atau tiga hari yang lalu, masih dengan setting yang sama: aku bawa banyak plastik belanjaan, ketinggalan campus bus di depan mata, dan dengan sedihnya mau jalan kaki aja dari supermarket ke rumah. (note: beda dengan bus komersial, bus kampus ini gratis *hehe* dan aku belanja di supermarket yang berbeda dari supermarket biasanya) I walked for about 50 metres.. and hey! there was this man again! cowok yang sama dengan yang aku temui 3 atau 4 minggu yang lalu.

he was walking to the opposite direction, and he said hi when I passed him (aku bahkan tadinya gak sadar bahwa itu dia sampe dia nyapa aku). then we did the same thing all over again: dia membawa setengah belanjaan aku, turning around and walked me home. but this time it was different: we stopped at local fast food restaurant to have lunch first. kita pesen makanan dan aku yang bayar karena aku gak punya uang kecil dan butuh kembalian—I paid with a 20 pounds bank note. aku tadinya udah cuek aja dan berniat bayarin ini cowok karena toh dia bantuin aku bawa belanjaan.

lalu tanpa disangka-sangka, perbincangannya jadi menarik banget! we talked about lots of things: about life, basic feelings, about the stars and how people could locate themselves through it, about philosophy, about life, about life, and even about the Universe.

ya, universe. alam semesta. it’s really weird that somebody, out of nowhere, shares the same interest as me: an interest for the whole universe and its never ending mystery of unified conspiration. dia sangat tertarik dengan Jacque Fresco’s The Venus Project (do watch the full documentary since it’s really interesting!). and when I asked whether he’s studying some kind of philosophy or social sciences.. his answer was rather unexpected: he has a master degree in Electrical Engineering from University of Birmingham! aku cukup terkejut juga karena seorang scientist teknik yang notabene berpikir menggunakan logika bisa tertarik juga dengan misteri alam semesta berbau filsafat. i thought i was the only one weird scientific girl who likes philosophy and the unique concept of the universe, but this very person sitting next to me shares the same thing: and I could tell he’s highly intelligent just by absorbing his thoughts about common things in very different perspectives.

lalu setelah makan siang, he walked me home. again. masih berbicara seputar alam semesta dan kejadian-kejadian yang emotionally luar biasa. terus saat udah nyampe rumah,

“okay, here i am again. thank you for helping me carrying those bags, hopefully we can meet up again someday, somewhere.”

“well, we are all connected. we can always meet each other if our minds want to.”

and then he paid for his lunch, handed me my shopping bags, and disappeared without even exchanging names.

***

hehe. lalu disinilah aku berada, di kamar aku, lantai 11 student accommodation, thanking God for our short yet deep and meaningful meetings. seolah-olah alam semesta menampar aku untuk nggak selalu menaruh kecurigaan sama orang-orang asing yang nggak aku kenal. I would never have those insightful conversations if I kept on growing suspicions around me.

pelajarannya adalah, dikala kita udah cukup dewasa untuk menilai apakah seseorang berniat jahat/tidak terhadap kita, dan apabila kita udah cukup siaga untuk menghubungi yang berwenang apabila terjadi sesuatu terhadap kita, do not have any excessive suspicions through strangers—sometimes they are, perhaps, sent by the Universe of by the God himself to give us insights—for there are no coincidence but simply a fate arranged by The Almighty God.

oke. akhir kata (HAHA akhir kata!), selamat sore waktu BST, dan mari melanjutkan menugas untuk hari Senin yang menyebalkan besok! :D

Sunday, 29th April 2012,
with light rain and howling wind of Manchester outside,
FR.