two eyes, two ears.

“The More I Learn, The Less I Know.”

… Is a famous quote from Socrates. And no, I’m not going to start with explaining how he got there or what shaped his way of thinking, for his grand, beautiful mind is of no comparison with mine.

Back then as a teenager I tend to have this burning passion, long-lasting spirit, strong idealism, and a confidence that I can someday, somehow, be one of the world’s greatest influence. (I know this may sounds rubbish but who didn’t have stupid dreams on their own when they were little? :p) Thus, higher education seemed like the brightest idea to start.

Three years in high school followed by four years of undergraduate study was the most influential 7 years out of my (nearly) 23 years of life. Rather than studying properly (which I sometimes regret.. and yet very grateful at :p), I spent most of time dealing with reality. I spent years being a part of something big.. that I somehow became friends with the unfortunates. Having been raised in a really nice family and background all my whole life, I never knew such things exist. I never knew that people really do make money out of nothing at all but a little bit of luck. I never knew that willingness alone can break all material limitations. I never knew that a tough mind could bring out seemingly-impossible possibilities. And yet, at the same time, life showed its dark sides in “local politics”, fishy fake movements, dirty tricks, and even pure ignorance.

Until at some point, I know that dreaming big alone would not get me anywhere closer to the so-called reality. What is spoken through words and what is written in papers are not ever going to change established realities if one has never been there himself. This is where I stopped talking about and making big, surreal plans, and instead starting my vast journey through the reality: by becoming the part of the “reality” myself.

By becoming reality, I spent years spending my life side by side with very random people, getting involved in voluntary activities, constantly battling alongside the forgotten ones, all unpaid, all publicly unknown, all for nothing except filling my mind with smallest little beauties and thorough understandings from the “dirty” reality itself.

But then I became too attached being with the reality and forgot to continue on dreaming.. until late 2010, when I was forced to decide what I should do once I finished my undergrad in 6 months. I always loved science ever since I could remember, it has been long since I gave up my art-ish ability for studying science and becoming a “backstage” person, and yet I wanted to keep in touch with reality. Once we’ve seen and been attached to such reality, we’ll never be able to close our eyes again. I’ve seen, and witnessed, how uneducated and poor people could pass such unfortunates to the next generation if not treated well in the early stage.

And, so, I decided teaching to be my last destination. So that I could stick in with the reality through teaching activities and staying true to my science passion. I dreamt of being an acoustics expert. Fortunately, this decision shortly brought me here, in Manchester, to pursue my master’s degree.

But again, reality slapped me from dreaming big and to instead just being happy with a little, specialised role. Five months of living and studying here make me realize that knowledge is…. infinite. Eternal. Vast. Knowledge and science are inseparable twins going on forever, unstoppable. It is so vastly infinite that this little brain of mine could never be able to comprehend. I could whole-heartedly say that knowledge brings me closer to God due to its magnificent growth that seems so impossible to be created out of a mere “accident”. Being here simply makes me realize that regardless of anything, I’d forever be a part of the bigger system, bigger meaning, a little part of the universe. Ironically, the more I learn, the more I feel like I really know nothing instead of knowing a lot. Therefore I know, and pretty much convinced, that every person simply has his/her own role in life, just as the concept of a “Khalifah”.

And yet I still wish to stay in the UK for 4 more years to know that I know nothing, to keep on moving towards knowing nothing, because only so I could open my mind to any other things and to keep my feet down on Earth, enjoying reality at its most.

As Plato once said, “the learning and knowledge that we have, is, at the most, but little compared with that of which we are ignorant.”

(photo credit of Soham Gupta)

So keep on moving forward and try not to ever stop dealing with reality, because, believe me, the plain reality is irresistibly beautiful in a closer look. :)

…

Oh, and happy loving day for you who celebrates 14th of February! And, uhm, just for my own pleasure of telling and for nothing of your interest perhaps, I’ve been seriously considering having a man for (just perhaps!) my lifetime-partner-to-be. I have one name with such a good personality and future visions in mind, but I will not spoil anything, not until God Himself opens his heart towards mine. :] ha. haha. HAHA OH MY JUST WHAT AM I TRYING TO SAY HERE, REALLY? xD

anyway, it’s very late at night. I’ll let my own universe to rest.

…

Manchester, February 14th 2012, 03.00 AM.

Lots of yawns already,